Chapter 6 : A month of symptoms nightmares part one

31st July 2025

I screamed. 

A rash. Black, blotched, spreading in uneven patches across both cheeks, as if someone had pressed charcoal-stained thumbs against my skin while I slept. I stood there for a long moment before I could move. Then I went downstairs, quiet at first, the stairs creaking under bare feet, my hand trembling slightly against the railing. My mother was in the kitchen, and I told her. 

She barely looked up. 

"It's the cats," she said. 

"You're always petting those stray cats."

I wanted to believe her. It was easier that way. A stray cat, a bit of fur, nothing more. But something about the certainty in her voice didn't sit right with the unease curling in my stomach. I went back upstairs, back to the mirror, and looked again. 

For the first time in my life, I said the words out loud to myself, 

'I think I have sensitive skin. I think I'm allergic to something' 

It felt strange to admit, like naming a stranger who had just walked into my life uninvited. And underneath that thought, a colder one: what if it's my eczema again? The word alone dragged old memories to the surface — the itching, the flare-ups, the years I thought I'd finally left behind.

I told myself it would fade in a day, maybe two.

It didn't.

It stayed on my face for the whole week.

Photos from Google.

I didn't take the photos, but this is how I looked. 

During that time, I didn't care about my ear ringing like hell. All I did was get excited to go to PD. I drove. And I felt tired. My leg cramps got worse. However, I told myself I should focus on my dad's birthday. We arrived and checked in. We had booked, and I stayed alone.

We went to the beach.

"Oh Allah. Sakitnya!" My right ear berdengung sampai susah nak bernafas. But I just pretended. I lay down on the sand while watching the sunset.

"Mungkin aku nak mati kot. Sakit giler," 

and yes, I did curse myself. I didn't enjoy myself. I did take photos, pretending I was happy, but I was hurting like hell. My right shoulder suddenly hurt. My legs still cramped.

Still smiling while rethinking what happened to me

Clueless, always searching the internet, but I didn't know what symptoms these were. 

My sunset view from my room

After 2 nights, at this moment, I told my mom how my ear and my ulcer were getting worse. She was shocked and decided we should check out the next day and go to a clinic. Aku baru bagitahu lol. 

The night got worse. I didn't sleep and cried because my shoulder felt like someone was tarik the tulang out of my skin. I didn't contact anyone because I was afraid of chit-chat. 

Just me, alone in the bathroom, looking at the mirror and kept saying "death." And I just saw four dots — two black dots on each of my arms. 

I cried again, and I was like, 

"Apa pulak ni."

Morning

Itik salai

Offer discount for 2 rooms 

Celebrating birthday

Breakfast 

Can't believe I'm handling this pain alone. 

During this, I haven't met anyone. Just me and my parents. I didn't have the mood pun untuk meluahkan perasaan, entah siapa je kisah hidupku. Biarlah tanggung sendiri. Ubat pulak takut nak makan. Bila kat rumah, all I did was baring je atas katil. Takda mood nak cari kerja, and my body just felt weak all the time.

Went back home and immediately went to the clinic. I told the doctor I had an ulcer, with a black rash that appeared on my cheeks. She gave me an antibiotic, ulcer pills, and cream.